Things He Said to Me

A couple of months ago I talked about how I felt as though Frank had manipulated me. Here are some of the crazy things he said.

"It's your fault I'm horny. Now you have to fix it."
If I yawned it made him horny.

"If you tell your mom, I'll kill myself."
I eventually told her. He didn't kill himself.

"If you get pregnant, I'll take you to Mexico for an abortion."
This really messed my head up.

"I want to take you away some where no one knows us and get married. "
This one was terrifying, I was afraid I'd wake up 1000 miles from home with a ring on my finger and no memory of how I got there. He also tried to convince me to change my last name back to his. I'd had Earl's last name since he adopted me at the age of 2.

"If you call me 'Dad' it will make it easier for me to stop."
I just couldn't do it. Earl is my dad.

"Your stepmom knows, she's seen us."
I have no idea how much she knew.

"You're just itching for more."
This was his answer when I told him I was having a problem with itching.

"I've been parking across the shopping center and watching you with your boyfriend when you leave work.
Yes, I had a boyfriend. I was desperately trying to be a normal teenager. We worked together at Target. We'd hang out by our cars after work and talk. We'd kiss goodbye before leaving.  Frank claimed to watch until he was sure I was leaving then race home so I wouldn't know.

I didn't see his words for what they where then. I understand so much more now. I've learned a lot about people and a lot about myself. Sometimes I've wished I'd been smarter. I have to remind myself that I was just a kid and I already had a past abuse that made me easy to manipulate. I'm not that dumb kid anymore but she taught me a lot.